Anti-Mpreg Post. We saw it comin'...
Jun. 14th, 2006 12:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
here_inmyheadOkay... let's fight off this strange mood with a rant. Hopefully I'll make it in time for bed.
Dear Yaoidom,
WHY are you suddenly obsessed with mpreg? WHY!? I mean to the point where it's like the friggin' latest fad. If sources tell me right about Kingdom Hearts fandom, you have your girly uke Sora weeping 4 hiz twu wuv Riku and OMG KIARI IZ A BITCH I H8 HER SHEZ A HOMOPH0BIK HOR--out of every three Sora/Riku, one of them is mpreg. KH and KH2 definitely make for one HUGE fandom, so you know. It's like, the latest Harry Potter or FMA right now. Which makes for a hell lotta giggly fangirls and their mpreg.
I'd go on about the absolute WRETCHED horror and the deep-seed hatred I hold for Sonadow.com, but that's best saved for another rant. But yeah. When the fangirls aren't jacking off (to be blunt) on their hideous OOC Sonadow Pr0n, they're having Sonic pop babies, 'cause he's OBVIOUSLY the girly one. *HOMICIDAL TROGDOR BURNINATE STAMPEDE* I have little knowledge of Pyramid Head from Silent Hill, but considering the stuff I heard, someone needs to be brave enough to send that guy the hell over there.
Makes me wanna shout to those 13-year-old fanbrats "HEY! You ever been PREGNANT before!?"
It's... I don't get it. I don't understand it. And I never will. Especially me, being a girl--who wants to BE pregnant? Okay, so most of this stems from personal reasons: pregnancy in any and all forms squicks me. Doesn't LOOK pretty, and going through it is even worse. It's... I know this is how we're born. But pregnancy speaks as a form of parasitism to me. Before I get pitchforks thrown in my direction and things get heated up, I'll just sum this up really quickly. Pregnancy, for some odd reason, makes me uncomfortable. I usually turn away when it's mentioned in television or movies, and it just... ugh. When it's included as a major plot point, I tend to just roll my eyes and be all "Oh, DRAMATIZE" whenever someone's sobbing over a miscarriage or something. It's--I don't like this sorta stuff. So I mention it very rarely, if at all.
Hate to sound like a wanker, but eh. One thing that makes yaoi... "different" (Bad word, I know. I'm NOT saying it's better than het or yuri obviously. Heaven forbid. *shudder*) is that, you know... guys can't get pregnant. oO;;; So Puri's all "YAY~!" for that. So here comes mpreg, and that just... completely "misses the point" in a way. Of course, it also serves to boggle Puri's brain in more ways than one. And seriously. The way the fangirls TRY to get one of the boys pregnant makes me humongoidly wonder if they passed Biology. Whenever I think of male pregnancy (Oxymoron! *cough*), I always think of alien spawn. Since there's no uterus for them to grow in, why not go in the next best thing, and feed off inside their stomach before busting out and finally killing the sickly sweaty pale-green guy "host" via "Alien"? Sounds disgusting, doesn't it? I can assure you, there's even more whacked-out squicky theories on what would happen if man tried giving birth. (Including what people call the "assbabies" theory. Which I am NOT going into)
Squick aside, mpreg is a bloody excuse enforce the seme/uke stereotype even more. If you thought Sonic and Sora were girly and cooing and lovey-dovey enough in regular slash to make Barbie cringe, in mpreg it's QUADRUPLE TIMES THE TORTURE TEN BILLION. 'Cause you know, pregnancy is about as maternal as you can get. Say goodbye to whatever little semblance or dignity they have left--they're bawling Padme*Tears for their Quadruple Times Ten Billion testosterone-pumped (to the point where steroids huddle in the corner and shudder) dark jerks more Studly Seme than ever, 'cause OMG. THEIR GONNA BE DADDY. And the baby! Don't get started on the drama with the baby! DOES SHADOW CARE 4 DA BABY OR WILL HE ABANDON MEEEEE? (MY KOI I THOUGHT U CAR3D!!11!) OH NOES RIKU WHAT IF I HAVE TO GET AN ABORTION!? O RIKU AISHITERU I CANT FATHOM THE THOUGHT OF LOSING OUR BABY ILL CRY
You see where this is going? Obviously Puri can't take this shit.
Oh yeah, and the male seahorse thing? I hate to burst your bubble here, but if my biology memory recalls, the FEMALE deposits the eggs, and makes the guy carry 'em. Come back when you can tell me an actual male animal LAYS the eggs, and maybe I'll raise an eyebrow. Come up with something other than the seahorse, too.
Go to Hell,
Puri
P.S: If ya want your slash ship to have kids THAT badly, here's a catch: the orphans in China would appreciate a loving home instead of earning small pay playing Pokémon Emerald for spoiled rich kids in America who are too damn lazy to work at building his own team. 'Cause *GASP* it requires playing! And effort!
Dear Yaoidom,
WHY are you suddenly obsessed with mpreg? WHY!? I mean to the point where it's like the friggin' latest fad. If sources tell me right about Kingdom Hearts fandom, you have your girly uke Sora weeping 4 hiz twu wuv Riku and OMG KIARI IZ A BITCH I H8 HER SHEZ A HOMOPH0BIK HOR--out of every three Sora/Riku, one of them is mpreg. KH and KH2 definitely make for one HUGE fandom, so you know. It's like, the latest Harry Potter or FMA right now. Which makes for a hell lotta giggly fangirls and their mpreg.
I'd go on about the absolute WRETCHED horror and the deep-seed hatred I hold for Sonadow.com, but that's best saved for another rant. But yeah. When the fangirls aren't jacking off (to be blunt) on their hideous OOC Sonadow Pr0n, they're having Sonic pop babies, 'cause he's OBVIOUSLY the girly one. *HOMICIDAL TROGDOR BURNINATE STAMPEDE* I have little knowledge of Pyramid Head from Silent Hill, but considering the stuff I heard, someone needs to be brave enough to send that guy the hell over there.
Makes me wanna shout to those 13-year-old fanbrats "HEY! You ever been PREGNANT before!?"
It's... I don't get it. I don't understand it. And I never will. Especially me, being a girl--who wants to BE pregnant? Okay, so most of this stems from personal reasons: pregnancy in any and all forms squicks me. Doesn't LOOK pretty, and going through it is even worse. It's... I know this is how we're born. But pregnancy speaks as a form of parasitism to me. Before I get pitchforks thrown in my direction and things get heated up, I'll just sum this up really quickly. Pregnancy, for some odd reason, makes me uncomfortable. I usually turn away when it's mentioned in television or movies, and it just... ugh. When it's included as a major plot point, I tend to just roll my eyes and be all "Oh, DRAMATIZE" whenever someone's sobbing over a miscarriage or something. It's--I don't like this sorta stuff. So I mention it very rarely, if at all.
Hate to sound like a wanker, but eh. One thing that makes yaoi... "different" (Bad word, I know. I'm NOT saying it's better than het or yuri obviously. Heaven forbid. *shudder*) is that, you know... guys can't get pregnant. oO;;; So Puri's all "YAY~!" for that. So here comes mpreg, and that just... completely "misses the point" in a way. Of course, it also serves to boggle Puri's brain in more ways than one. And seriously. The way the fangirls TRY to get one of the boys pregnant makes me humongoidly wonder if they passed Biology. Whenever I think of male pregnancy (Oxymoron! *cough*), I always think of alien spawn. Since there's no uterus for them to grow in, why not go in the next best thing, and feed off inside their stomach before busting out and finally killing the sickly sweaty pale-green guy "host" via "Alien"? Sounds disgusting, doesn't it? I can assure you, there's even more whacked-out squicky theories on what would happen if man tried giving birth. (Including what people call the "assbabies" theory. Which I am NOT going into)
Squick aside, mpreg is a bloody excuse enforce the seme/uke stereotype even more. If you thought Sonic and Sora were girly and cooing and lovey-dovey enough in regular slash to make Barbie cringe, in mpreg it's QUADRUPLE TIMES THE TORTURE TEN BILLION. 'Cause you know, pregnancy is about as maternal as you can get. Say goodbye to whatever little semblance or dignity they have left--they're bawling Padme*Tears for their Quadruple Times Ten Billion testosterone-pumped (to the point where steroids huddle in the corner and shudder) dark jerks more Studly Seme than ever, 'cause OMG. THEIR GONNA BE DADDY. And the baby! Don't get started on the drama with the baby! DOES SHADOW CARE 4 DA BABY OR WILL HE ABANDON MEEEEE? (MY KOI I THOUGHT U CAR3D!!11!) OH NOES RIKU WHAT IF I HAVE TO GET AN ABORTION!? O RIKU AISHITERU I CANT FATHOM THE THOUGHT OF LOSING OUR BABY ILL CRY
You see where this is going? Obviously Puri can't take this shit.
Oh yeah, and the male seahorse thing? I hate to burst your bubble here, but if my biology memory recalls, the FEMALE deposits the eggs, and makes the guy carry 'em. Come back when you can tell me an actual male animal LAYS the eggs, and maybe I'll raise an eyebrow. Come up with something other than the seahorse, too.
Go to Hell,
Puri
P.S: If ya want your slash ship to have kids THAT badly, here's a catch: the orphans in China would appreciate a loving home instead of earning small pay playing Pokémon Emerald for spoiled rich kids in America who are too damn lazy to work at building his own team. 'Cause *GASP* it requires playing! And effort!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:12 am (UTC)The "omg u dun love me anymore cuz im fat" stuff annoys the crap out of me. I've seen TV shows and the woman doesn't say that stuff, she bitches and groans and takes her frustrations out on her poor husband. XD
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-16 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:46 am (UTC)Anything by Crumpet (http://crumpet.deviantart.com/gallery/) works too. ^^ Oh yeah! And never fails: Hedgiepan's stuff will make you die of cute. (http://hikaru-michi.deviantart.com/gallery/)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 07:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-16 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:19 am (UTC)I'd LOVE to make them all watch an actual live birth happen and then look at them and go 'Guess what... the anus isn't even a -fraction- as stretchy as that. <3' and see how long they like the idea of assbabies.
Forgive my vulgarity but it's like trying to shit a watermelon. Don't work people~
But leave the squicky little stupids to their idiocy. <3
Here....
Have some Sonadow Chao Goodness. =D <3<3<3<3
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:32 am (UTC)And waaaaaaaaah! I remember that! X33333 *snuggles~!*
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:52 am (UTC)Unless you're the Goatse guy.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 06:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:21 am (UTC)CLEARLY.
I kid. Mpreg squicks and frightens me, as do most things written by young teenage fangirls.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:55 am (UTC)I only wrote mpreg once, as a joke. Breaking Knuckles's mind is fun.no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 06:03 am (UTC)I'd like to think it's a sad attempt to emulate a real 'straight' relationship. One of the two involved in a yaoi relationship is the 'girl' and the other the 'boy'. There were Japanese names for these roles too but I forgot them. The point is, there's a need to make things 'normal' to them and somehow they do mpreg. At least, that's what I think. It's messed up anyway X^D
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 03:11 pm (UTC)(What'll further break brains is that gay couples often "switch off" IRL--and that it is the person AT THE BOTTOM that controls things. *DADADADUN*)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 07:33 am (UTC)And besides, couples like Ivo and Gordon would much rather adopt Tails than have to be pregnant - I think they'd pitch a fit.OMG KIARI IZ A BITCH I H8 HER SHEZ A HOMOPH0BIK HOR
You know, she's probably just as big a yaoi fan as Amy is. XD;
But I digress. Seriously, the world needs to accept the fact that OMG HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS DO NOT PRODUCE BABIES. This does not make them any less viable. Except too many people believe that a relationship that does not increase the population is useless. Screw love. D= I hate that opinion.
Haha, better stop before I had into my own rant. >.>;
Ee...
Date: 2006-06-14 07:43 am (UTC)...I feel really smart right now XD
Now I just have to get Presmander to catch on XD
Re: Ee...
Date: 2006-06-14 08:07 am (UTC)Ivo/Gordon/Emyr OT3! XD
Re: Ee...
Date: 2006-06-14 08:50 am (UTC)Re: Ee...
Date: 2006-06-14 03:58 pm (UTC)A defense...
Date: 2006-06-14 07:57 am (UTC)Well uh... everyone's going to disown me now, but I've been known to enjoy the occasional... *DUCK*
Yes, the vast majority of mpreg fics are disgusting, terrible, pathetic, and just... completely in violation of their respective canon's physics. Gag.
However, some of them are just funny, if you aren't squicked by pregnancy and buttsex. Especially the bad ones.
Plus, some of them make sense, or at least have some potential basis, in Canon. Not to ... squick you out, but I'm a firm believer in the fact that Black Doom is female, as it seems to be the "queen" of the Black Arms. As Shadow was made from its blood, it's likely that Shadow either, A, was given a Y chromosome from a terrestrial hedgehog to make him male, or B, is actually female, but with "masculine" traits taht are normal among black arms females. If you go with "Omg sonic is a shadow clone" theory, which I do, the latter would make Sonic likely female as well, but again, showing masculine traits. In this unlikely chain of events... it's not even mpreg. I also find the "ultimate lifeform = asexual reproduction" concept logical.
But I completely understand not being this shamefully open.
As for why someone would write mpreg... well, that's a bit easier. Many people have this powerful urge to have kids--those who aim for voluntary extinction call it "baby rabies." Among the young, who don't yet have the powerful urge, there is a fascination with family roles, production of children, nurturing, etc., as is seen in young children playing house. Either of these two things can motivate someone to want to write a fic about their favorite characters spawning--either living vicariously through the characters or exploring what the roles mean. But if an author's favorite pairing involves two males... mpreg can result. Some people also find it funny to imagine a male pregnant... and there could be a degree of sadistic glee in making a man suffer through a female pain.
Of course, to someone with no desire to bear children, this could be foreign or squicky. As I've aged and I've had a stronger desire to have kids, my (admittedly strong) respect for and like of mpreg has increased. But I have a healthy respect for people's dislike of mpreg and should I ever write it I plan on having good warnings in place. Really, that's all that can be asked.
I do agree that most mpreg is overdone, pathetic, poorly done, and obnoxious for most part but... it can be redeemed. And I do not blame you one bit if you don't want to be on the same planet if that happens.
Re: A defense...
Date: 2006-06-14 08:10 am (UTC)Fair calls on all accounts. I think that more than anything, it just boils down to a simple matter of preference
and some people learning how to write better.XD;Re: A defense...
Date: 2006-06-14 08:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 02:01 pm (UTC)I've joined
It's just.... AUUUUUUGH. I myself am REALLY deseperate to have a baby someday (keyword: someday) but I'm very well aware of the pain and drama that will accompany it. Which is why it disgusts me when 12-15 year old girls think it's all cake and flowers and decide to make men pregnant because LOLITSCUTE.
Do these kids even KNOW about basic human biology? Not only that, but where would the embryo/fetus LIVE inside the male?!? D=;;;
*facepalm*
Puri, you indeed rock. One of these days I've love to do a fandom rant like this for a great, many things.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 02:21 pm (UTC)Err... well... please, PLEASE don't hate me for this, but one of my OCs actually is the spawn of mpreg. ^^;;; Though his coming into "existance" was due to a joke and not actually done seriously. And the "mother"? Far from a wimpy uke. He's actually an immortal, immoral, psychotic, manipulative, evil little bastard who probably tweaked his own body to make the birth possible so he could have a minion later.
*dodges flying objects*
Err. Anyway. I have to agree with you for the most part anyway. Most mpreg is really, really... well... "wtf"ish. I HAVE read good fics dealing with it... but for the most part, blah.
Again, I'm sorry. ;_; I just felt like I should say that. *uses the Shadow icon to ease the pain that this comment may cause*
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 03:02 pm (UTC)If it's an OC type deal, then I don't see why it should be a problem. It's only when people use already-created characters for those sorta things do I (and maybe Puri) find it a little... you know.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 03:29 pm (UTC)Okay, okay. I'm an idiot. It's a fact. :O
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 04:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 04:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 05:44 pm (UTC)I miss Reboot. ;.;
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 06:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 07:05 pm (UTC)Friended back. =D =D =D
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 04:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 04:36 pm (UTC)Chocolate milk is cool though XD AL LOVES KISSING PEOPLE WHO RANT ABOUT MPREG :D
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 06:24 pm (UTC)We all know Shadow would be the uke. Clearly, he would be the pregnant one.
*SHOT SHOT SHOT'D*
Er. I'm kidding, really. MPreg used to absolutely squick me, but now it just makes me shake my head. :/ Just thinking about how on earth it could even be possible breaks my brain.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 08:15 pm (UTC)If Shadow got pregnant, he'd be the CRANKIEST person ALIVE. XDDDD! (And he'd scare poor Sonic outta his wits. XD) Now I'm getting images of Vanilla helping him out as the weeks go by, and Cream comforting him and--augh images. Dammit. XD But yeah, Shadow would DEFINITELY be a target of alien/Black Arms spawn.*KABLOOEY'D!*
I guess seeing much of one thing does it to ya eh? XD Me though, I'm just a wuss. Everytime I think I'm immune to something, something comes along and I'm sobbing like a little girl. XDDD;;;
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 09:12 pm (UTC)I don't read fanfiction much.. Or, well, even don't read it at all :))) So I guess I can't argue with you anyway :))