Cheesy Passage of the Day!

The other day at the library, I randomly picked up a book that clearly looked like a Twilight ripoff. Same font? Check. BLACK EVERYWHERE. Check. High-def cover? Check. Which shows a close-up shot of a girl's face with a crystalline tear dripping out of her eye like blue wax. It's called Infinite Days by Rebecca Maizel. I flipped to one of the pages, recalled a Weeping-Cock-But-Not description and giggled, and wanted to show James later to troll him.

Turns out this is actually from the preview of Maizel's next book, Stolen Nights. Could've fooled me, 'cause this was the first thing I saw (bolding mine):

Rhode stands in the glittered ash. He is gorgeous, naked. I follow the meaty carvings of his chest, down to the firmness of his abdomen, down and down to the bone in his shins. He could be made of marble. My god, I think. I love the sculpted angles of his body. I look back up when he brings his palm over his chest and covers his heart. I am utterly entranced as if the images were real. p. 323

Out of context, the heroine used to be a vampire. I think. Still though, "meaty carvings?" What? I expected the good ol' Edwardian marble though. OF COURSE!

WHELP. If I want to describe someone as beautiful, they better be a statue. Time to start sculpting T-bones!